Training and Pain
Cutting teeth. I still have memories of itching gums and experiencing pain from new teeth emerging (through the gums).
Figuring out how to read. Sounding out letters, putting together sounds, and attempting to pronounce words, is maddening, when one wants to be able to read and speak right away. After learning to pronounce words and read sentences, more obstacles come. One has to figure out what sentences collectively are communicating. Learning to read is not cake.
Training for a sport. I remember years of tennis lessons, camps, private lessons, practicing. Running suicides, strength training, learning to shuffle from base line to base line, running forwards and backwards from the mid-line to the base line, training the body (and hand-eye) coordination to hit balls to particular spots on the court involved a lot of sweat, sheer exhausting effort, and dedication.
Learning to play an instrument. I started taking piano lessons when I was four and a half years old and continued through high school (and then some private piano for credit at the university). Practicing scales and arpeggios, finding ways to effectively and beautifully play through trouble spots in pieces, minding dynamics, working on playing technique was boring, frustrating, painful, at times.
Learning about oneself and maturing as a person is no cup of tea. I am giving a talk on identity tonight. There is too much to be said to include a concise summary here. Suffice to say that truly learning about oneself, to start; takes patience, discerning, self-reflection.
All for Something Better
We invite and endure such struggle and pain, with the expectation that the finished product is well worth the investment.
With teeth, we can enjoy so many more varieties of deliciously tasty food.
With the ability to read, we are less limited and have so much more access to the world.
There is something to be said about mastering a sport. By 'mastering' a sport, I don't mean becoming a world-famous athlete. In the process of immersing oneself in a sport well, one has to take care of the body in many ways: eating well, looking after the heart through cardiovascular training, toning one's muscles, training the mind to work with the body. A person's body is being refined and molded.
As for music, I have so much fondness associated with music. Though the years of practicing and competing were tough on different levels, the diligent effort has allowed me to express myself through music (and other arts), be an accompanist, and enjoy communicating through music.
Regarding personal growth and maturity, I am not afraid to identify or examine my feelings. That is not to say there are feelings I do not particularly enjoy or appreciate, whether sadness, despair, loneliness, feeling alone, or anger. Through the ongoing process of getting to know myself and growing, I have gained a much more robust and meaningful understanding of who I am.
My Pain of Writing
My struggle and pain for today is pressing forward with writing.
Figuring out how to communicate the underlying message in the book through showing and not telling, learning to prune without cutting out vital information, encouraging and being generous with the creative, inviting the imaginative out to play, keeping in mind all of life's lessons whilst writing, allowing the characters' personalities to take their unique forms, believing I have something worthwhile to share.
Balancing my daily responsibilities (which keep me running nonstop, with precious little sleep) with writing is difficult. I have yet to figure out how to do that well.
Yet, I am attempting to hold steadfast on to the hope that my work of fiction will not merely make or a good read but will transform lives.
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