The Path to Success is not always what it seems

Sometimes the cost (of success) is physical, impacting one's limbs, in more ways than one.

Oftentimes the impact is not only skin deep.

Perhaps questioning or doubting one's skills in the related fields; experiencing cut-throat, merciless competition; working extra long hours and still wondering whether one will succeed.

If someone had told me that being successful would also include feelings or experiences of betrayal, mistrust, angst, loneliness, isolation, or anxiety, I do not think I would run to the front of the line to sign up for the punches.

On the flip side, if someone told me that my difficult, gut-wrenching experiences have a significant role to play in the success of what I am and will be doing, I would view my past experiences in a different light.

I am not usually one to ask any 'why me' questions.

And, I try to look to see how my experiences, however painful and isolating they may seem, are opportunities for me to grow as well as situations in which I can help others.

If some of my circumstances took place to pave the way for success, the pain feels different, the interpretations of those experiences change, and the forwards goal steals the stage.

Cheers to success!

Success, based on What or Whose Standards?

By the standards of the world, my profession, and my paying work, I would be the model example of failure in my career. I am not attending conferences, hobnobbing with fellow colleagues in the field, and I am not keeping up with current research and publishing.

It is time to throw in the towel and call me done. Look up the word 'failure' (to do one's job well) in the dictionary, and my name and photograph will be found in the definition of the term.

Wait a minute.

I am still here. Do you believe that I have accepted the stamp of 'failure' to succeed in my career?

Sometimes I believe I might have. Looking at social media updates with "tenure" in it or noticing the lengthy running credits of friends' recent academic accomplishments can be quite unnerving and intimidating.  Or drive me into despair.

But, I have had a strong feeling that I should be doing the project that I have been undertaking, until the work is done. Whilst in process, I have nothing to show that convinces anyone that my intuition not anything more than a flight of fancy but is grounded in something significant and worthy of attention.

My (academic) training has no small role to play in the undertaking of this project. I love, with a deep passion, my field, my discipline. And, no one is going to take away how doing/studying the discipline has shaped and will continue to change my life.

Am I a success? Will I be a success? Let us not start from the unknown but the known. I am going to finish this (monumental) project I started. Godspeed, please!